Jak ulepszyć nieulepszalne, czyli dlaczego gitary niszczą rock'n'roll

Ktoś mi dzisiaj powiedział, że dwie najcenniejsze rzeczy jakie Bóg dał ludzkości to gitara i Keith Richards. Obie te rzeczy są idealne, i żadnej nie da się już ulepszyć. Jak na ironię, znalazłam na guardian.net śliczny artykuł o tym, jak taki archaiczny wynalazek jak gitara blokuje dostęp do kariery ludziom którym naprawdę się ona należy. Przełamać ten impas mogą tylko gitary na guziczki.

Last year, for the first time ever, computer and video game sales might have outstripped music and DVD sales combined, helped in large part by games like Guitar Hero: World Tour, Rock Band 2, Wii Music, Rock Revolution, Boogie Star, Pop Star Guitar and Ultimate Band.

This has made some in the horny-handed "proper" musician community squeal like stuck pigs. Real rockers who can actually play guitar, like Nickelback's Chad Kroeger, have complained that games like Guitar Hero are rubbish because they're not real. And because hitting buttons on a Guitar Hero guitar is a lot easier than learning to play a real guitar. Which is, apparently, really hard.

In other words "real" guitarists like Mayer want to keep rock stardom like a sort of medieval guild, where entrance is only granted to those willing to suffer the tedium, frustration and savagely blistered fingers of an arduous apprenticeship – years that could surely be better spent miming songs, dressing up in your mum's clothes and practising some really cool moves in the mirror.

Why are they still making guitars with "real" strings that are difficult and boring to learn how to play and really make your fingers hurt? What is the point? Do we still slaughter our own cows? Dig our own wells? Work in the turnip fields for 18 hours a day, six days a week? No. Buttons have proven themselves to be much easier and more efficient. Plus, with the button guitar you can still use the instrument for its main purpose – pretending that it's a penis or a machine gun.

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